today’s j333 is so overwhelming. it’s so refreshing for my soul.

god answered a few questions that i had in my heart for quite some time. i don’t understand what clarence means when he said its sufficient to be happy just knowing that you are already saved and loved by him. i cannot understand the joy he’s talking about. and today while in deep thoughts, i found my answer. i recalled what was the last thing that made me truly joyful. it turned out to be the moment when my mom agreed to go with me to church.

i remembered that was also my last time being anguish about god. i have been finding excuses so that i won’t need to make any sacrifices for him. for example, claiming that i am super burnt out from work and not having the energy to build up my biblical knowledge, when i am actually out there watching animes. cross fingers. 

i can’t say i’m truly concerned about people when my actions don’t show.

anyway it’s been a true struggle today being all professional to my coordinator. his communication skills are quite flawed and he doesn’t tell us an overview of the work that’s left to be done. i have been trying very hard to control my tongue and not let anything that would worsen the working relationship come out of my mouth. 

but what’s meant to be spoken has to be spoken. in the past, i’m still a typical female that doesn’t speak up assertively when another person misinterprets my point. i would just heck care about it even if it means i am disadvantaged. this time round, i never imagined myself to be able to consistently defend my work and my rationale for doing things certain ways. surprisingly i was able to articulate my points quite clearly. and when i don’t feel comfortable with something or have another suggestion, i will just voice it out now. i think one of the factor is because i’m 100% responsible for my work and the boss is reviewing it himself, hence there’s an urgency to do what’s right for me and his company. another reason why i managed to be assertive is of course the spirit’s prompting. 

so tired physically today. but i have never felt so full spiritually for quite a while. =D

oh. another thing. during j333, god used 3 women to speak. two women saw the same vision and another one translated those vision into words from the bible. there’s no “theme” for prayer meetings and surprisingly the things that those ladies shared pointed towards the same direction! both of them saw that they were wearing those helmet hats with light bulbs on top. they were chiselling their way through the walls and rocks in the tunnel. and they soon came to see the light. i didn’t manage to catch the chapter and verse number, except that its from the book of john.

cool “coincidence” =D

okay sleeping soon for work tomorrow. night!