I am so tired today. My eyes are dry and tired and dying. Somehow I’m losing more and more of my disgusting pride these days, and hope as well. 

Tradeoff.

I tend to put people before me at times. But one year back, I began to realise it might have some elements of “conditional love/ care” inside, and I struggled to learn how to give without expecting anything back. Unfulfilled expectations are a killer. And I might be stuck in this cycle now. Probably. Most probably.

Then while I am thinking about this now, some stuff flashed back in my mind: after my father passed away back then, my primary school principal gave us some allowance every month to tide us through. This girl offered to give me her physics and chemistry notes when I was in Sec 4. In fact, she even photocopied it FOC for me. Then this Belgium family took me in for one night when I was almost lost on the way to the airport. 

Maybe He is reminding me that I have been receiving unconditional love before and should not refrain myself from showing it.

Okay, I feel better now after typing this. :D 

Rest well everyone “D