October 2011
8 posts
When the past comes back to haunt you… The tears won’t stop flowing„,
I just want to call my friends and have a nice chat and over-the-phone-hug now… The problem with being overseas…
I do want a special 21st with my closest friends but it’s all but a dream now
“Who can withstand your vents, frustrations, tears and agony when you plunged to...”
Vietnam trip
I’m on my sixth day for the Vietnam south to north trip! Since I have a nice room and wifi, shall update my trip till now!
This is my second time going travelling alone and my first time riding airasia. I’m not familiar with the weird practices so was quite confused at the Bangkok airport. Then in 1.5hours, I’m in hcmc. Been to hcmc ten months earlier so I still remembered...
Intentionally Stretch Myself
My second solo trip, this time travelling Vietnam from HCMC to Hanoi in ten days! I’m so glad I’m on this trip alone, I got to see the things I want to see, eat as much and try as much as I want, sleep in very lousy rooms because I don’t care about room standards as long as I can sleep, stop at a location as long as I want before moving on.
Travelling alone means that you...
Travelling!!!
I just planned my Chiangmai, Vietnam, Laos trip and am so excited! Since I don’t have Tibet this time round, the Vietnam Laos and yangon trip is sort of a trip to myself. ;D nah no travelling partners… Just want to learn to be even more independent.
Left with the Cambodia and yangon trip to plan…
So looking forward to flying back home to see my hamsters!!!!
September 2011
4 posts
When two people come into a relationship, each brings in their past baggage as well.
Praying for the courage to uncover these baggages and move forward instead of being stagnant as we are ;x.
But the good thing is, the hopeless now have hope.
Courage to believe Him, and visualizing that moment of victory…
1 tag
Courage to move on.
I am not ashamed or embarrassed to tell people of ugly things that happened in my life because that’s how we help others to learn right?
I had yet another heated argument with Clarence again on Tuesday. And it started from me being pissed that he didn’t reply one if my post on chiangmai. I forgot what happened but afterwards I started to use what ever bad stuff he said to me last...
August 2011
4 posts
5 tags
God is providing, but am I giving back?
God’s provision for me thus far has been tremendous:
-Free lunches
-Free notes
-Free breakfast
-Free security
-Free etc
The exact figures are being recorded in my own expenditure excel sheet.
But am I giving back enough during the weekly tithes, to those who need it more than me?
Dear God, I still remember how you transformed 50 dollars into 127 dollars back then in March. I still...
First of All: Love!
The first and most important commandment as stated in the bible, we see that it is to love God (Matthew 22:36-37). In fact, God is all about love (1 John 4:8). God wants us to love him, but how? Is worshipping and praying enough?
[”Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your...
thailand!
i knew this exchange in thailand for four months would be the time god is using to ‘purify’ me of my selfishness, tendency to isolate thyself and most importantly, my bad temper.
things are slow and steady in thailand thus far i would say. living with acquaintances/friends for four months is kind of terrifying for me, since i am so used to going anyway/doing anything by myself since...
June 2011
8 posts
nothing + God = everything!
nothing + God = everything!
(young david + god = defeat goliath the giant)
1 Samuel 17
David and Goliath
1 Now the Philistines gathered their forces for war and assembled at Sokoh in Judah. They pitched camp at Ephes Dammim, between Sokoh and Azekah. 2 Saul and the Israelites assembled and camped in the Valley of Elah and drew up their battle line to meet the Philistines. 3 The Philistines...
a little is everything to him
while my mum and i were walking home from j333, i suddenly thought of this parable to encourage my mum to continue going to j333.
its the parable from mark 12.
The Widow’s Offering
41 Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. 42But a poor widow came and put in two...
the visions
i saw 2 pictures consecutively from the 2 weeks of j333.
the first one was a fish. matthew said it meant god wants us to be fishers of men.
the second was a water lily. this one troubled me for quite long, and its finally solved yesterday thanks to matthew again! “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.” matthew 6:28
so...
spiritual warfare
i experienced it 2 times already. the first time it occurred, it was on the night clarence left for denmark. the second time it happened, it was on the night i talked about god most intensely with my mom.
in the past, i have really bad nightmares and i always (100% of the time) wake up believing the things really happened! it got so bad that i need to keep a book beside me and write down...
gossips and office flings
it’s a miracle that i managed to keep my (really) bad temper in check for 1 whole month since work started. until yesterday.
i’m still in the midst of learning how to deal with gossips. when my colleagues gossip to me about other people, i tried very hard not to flame the topic. it’s very tough controlling the tongue, and sometimes i failed to do so. this is definitely one...
on sunday, i was having an argument with clarence and i could not stop crying. and my mum said to me “yao bu yao dao gao!”
i was so shocked and amazed by what she said. =D
stringing all the pieces together
yesterday, i felt the prompting from god to talk about two stories from the bible with clarence before i slept.
the first one is the one we were still reading before he called:
Galatians 1:
But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let them be under God’s curse! 9 As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to...
these few weeks, i got the chance to meet with various people and for some, i could feel the burden in their hearts.
thank god my mum is motivated and disciplined enough to keep in touch with her talks with god. i have one less worry on my mind.
i pray for wisdom when speaking to my friends, amen!
May 2011
4 posts
regrets and the like
i used to have regrets about anything and everything. every single (little) thing is enough to spoil my day. i always thought how nice it would be if i didn’t have to go through those things that i went through. i always thought that if i still had my father (and wealth), i didn’t have to go through those stuff.
thank god that mindset has long been gone. i finally understood the...
the light at the end of the tunnel
today’s j333 is so overwhelming. it’s so refreshing for my soul.
god answered a few questions that i had in my heart for quite some time. i don’t understand what clarence means when he said its sufficient to be happy just knowing that you are already saved and loved by him. i cannot understand the joy he’s talking about. and today while in deep thoughts, i found my answer....
a gift from god
i ought to put this post behind the previous one with respect to time, but i guess i will do without that.
this semester has been really tough for me because i have no common modules with my friends, clarence wasn’t around to study with me, i kept failing the assignments and tests for 3 out of 5 modules.
during two weeks in february, i was very disheartened and dry because i do not know...
hearing from god
i had a big fight with my mother on a monday two weeks ago, and all the hatred and angstiness i felt towards her came flowing back. those ten years of negative thoughts and feelings that i have set aside after accepting christ, came back to haunt me.
this carried on for one whole week, and during that week, my spiritual life was in ruins. i did not read the bible, i did not pray and i shut my...
April 2011
1 post
i have been feeling spiritually lonely for quite some time. it’s quite impossible for me to find someone to talk to now. to share about my spiritual growth, struggles and all that. it’s quite sad to have the same realisation that i cannot find anyone to talk to in my cell.
well its true that friends will never leave you like partners. however, no one knows me better than him.
March 2011
1 post
it’s such an “I” thing now. everyone cares more for themselves than others and expects others to care for them before they would do something.
i guess it kinda speaks of my r/s with god sometimes. but everytime i feel really sad and lonely, he will just speak into me and say “i’m here” and then i will stop emo-ing and drawing circles. i think it’s true...
February 2011
1 post
i have reached my threshold for tolerating unmet expectations and it’s killing me. i feel my heart hardening.
it’s my turn to have a dry walk.
pray…
January 2011
3 posts
God does not show favouritism
Cornelius Calls for Peter
1 At Caesarea there was a man named Cornelius, a centurion in what was known as the Italian Regiment. 2 He and all his family were devout and God-fearing; he gave generously to those in need and prayed to God regularly. 3 One day at about three in the afternoon he had a vision. He distinctly saw an angel of God, who came to him and said, “Cornelius!”
4 Cornelius...
my spiritual warfare
the pastors would constantly remind us of the need to “be prepared for spiritual warfare”, and this urgency never caught up with me until that night.
if you are not physically healthy, then your spiritual health would be threatened as well. since 16 jan, i have been having diarrhoea, fever, stiffed neck and pains all over the body and it continued to worsen on the day clarence flew...
micro vs macro view
Mark 8:32-33 And he said this plainly. And Peter took him, and began to rebuke him. But turning and seeing his disciples, he rebuked Peter, and said, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are not on the side of God, but of men.”
If Peter had successfully persuaded Jesus not to die on the cross for us, we won’t be able to be cleansed of our sins. The book “Hard Sayings of the...
December 2010
7 posts
Truth
“In the theological debates of the last 50 yrs or so, this is the grounds for much of what has been termed the “new morality” or “Situation ethics” claiming that persons are more important than principles. That experiencing relationship is of greater value than God’s revealed commands. Of course this ignores the fact that the principles belong to a God who embodies concern for the person,...
After so many weeks of refusing to listen to what God has to say to me, I finally hear Him again:D
I have been spending a lot of time and energy trying to tackle my emotional and self esteem problem, so much so that I thought I couldn’t make it through. I hurt the person I loved the most, yet I found it difficult to get rid of my weakness rapidly. Fortunately, after weeks of missing cell, I...
PLAYING PANDA: A researcher dressed in a panda costume placed a panda cub into a box before a physical examination at the Hetaoping Research and Conservation Center for the Giant Panda in Sichuan province, China, Friday. The cub is being trained for reintroduction into the wild. (Reuters)
http://blogs.wsj.com/photojournal/2010/12/06/photos-of-the-day-dec-6/2/
A Wise Ruling
1 Kings 3:16-27 (New International Version, ©2010)
A Wise Ruling
16 Now two prostitutes came to the king and stood before him. 17 One of them said, “Pardon me, my lord. This woman and I live in the same house, and I had a baby while she was there with me. 18 The third day after my child was born, this woman also had a baby. We were alone; there was no one in the house but the two of us.
...
random post.
the most inspiring and meaningful blog i have ever came across: http://smellee.wordpress.com/
Exams are over!
Anyway, I think I really need to reflect properly on what I have done during these few months. I haven’t been really nice to people when I ought to :(
I am selfish. Ass hole :(
Big big weakness!
Thus, I must kick that habit. Especially my pride. It’s a big stumbling stone. And it’s a really big problem. If I don’t kick it, my expectations of things would...
November 2010
12 posts
I am so tired today. My eyes are dry and tired and dying. Somehow I’m losing more and more of my disgusting pride these days, and hope as well.
Tradeoff.
I tend to put people before me at times. But one year back, I began to realise it might have some elements of “conditional love/ care” inside, and I struggled to learn how to give without expecting anything back. Unfulfilled...
i have been feeling spiritually, emotionally and physically drained and tired. i have been having a nightmare marathon for at least two weeks and i can’t sleep properly. my body is breaking down.
at this point in time, vulnerability is the one last thing i want to get myself into, yet, human tendency for vertigo has caused me to fall victim to it time and again.
i have been out of touch...
Jonah’s Anger at the LORD’s Compassion
1 But to Jonah this seemed very wrong, and he became angry. 2 He prayed to the LORD, “Isn’t this what I said, LORD, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. 3 Now, LORD, take away my...
Correctly handle the word of truth
I find the same to be true concerning Scripture. If I need direction or confirmation about a decision, I can always find it in the Bible, but the key to using Scripture correctly and under the leadership of the Holy Spirit is to see it in the context it was written in. If I take a verse out of context then it’s like leaving the marked out path.
“Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the...
Be wise rather than naïve and loving rather than...
3 John
The problem with people of good will is that too often they are too willing to believe what people say rather than look at the reality of their actions. Just because people say they are saved, are active in church and may even hold a position of spiritual leadership doesn’t mean they are.
Only God can see a heart, man can only see the outward works of a person. James tells us that...
“As economists have long notedChina uses private banks in London and Hong Kong to conduct some of its foreign purchases. That makes it difficult to use government statistics on holdings of its bonds to know exactly who is buying what.”
http://blogs.wsj.com/chinarealtime/2010/11/09/china-again-dumps-yen-or-does-it/
LOL
The Hebrew word for wise means “skillful…practical at living life.“
Since I am not good at taking care of myself, I am indeed un-wise.
A healthy body = A healthy soul
True wisdom cannot be exercised where there is a...
Dreaded
I don’t know why but there seems to be a wall building up gradually. I can’t expect things to remain unchanged anyway, yet there seems to be no motivation to do anything.
Anyway I think what he said makes sense to me now: I can claim that I love my mother, but actions wise, it is not reflective of the statement. Similarly, I can claim that I care for you or whatsoever, but the...